The City of New York, and the New York Police Department, buried one of our (their) own today. Rafael Ramos was buried. Officer Ramos was assassinated last Saturday with his partner, Weinjin Liu. As I watched the funeral this morning, I could not help but be moved by the words expressed by the pastors and government leaders. It is true, police officers put it out there every day.
My uncle, Rich, was a cop. His son, Jim, is a cop. It's a job I could never do, I don't have the patience for law breakers, nor do I have the patience or understanding required to deal with people I would never associate with. Cops do. Every day. I get that. And I appreciate the hell out of it. I'm the guy who walks around the city on Thanksgiving shaking the hands of NYPD officers and thanking them. It's a tradition I started my first Thanksgiving out here, and I will continue it as long as I am here.
Rafael Ramos was a testament to the NYPD and what makes cops great. He was a spiritual man and has a wonderful family. He cared about his community and he cared about his brother and sister officers. From everything I've heard, he was a perfect cop. Who got killed simply because he was a cop.
There's a rift here in the city between the NYPD and the Mayor. I don't understand it, frankly, probably because I'm not a cop and I don't have bi-racial children like the mayor does. The mayor said some things about how he's not comfortable with his kids being dealt with equally by cops and, in saying that, made the cops somewhat irate. To the point where they actually turned their backs to the monitor when he was speaking today at the funeral.
And, therein, lies the problem. We are becoming an intolerant society. We are becoming intolerant of people with different opinions, different ideas, different skin colors, we are becoming intolerant of different. AND THAT HAS TO STOP. But it won't stop, and we all know it, until our government and leaders learn how to be tolerant. Every day we hear stories from just about every house of our government about how they don't agree, about how the views of one political party or group are not tolerant of the view of the other. Every day we see fingers pointed across the aisle or somewhere else. We've become a nation of 'blame the other guy'.
And that leads cops to turn their back on the mayor at a funeral. That leads to a government that can't pass laws. That leads to people treating people differently. A society of intolerance is a society that is doomed to fail.
And if it does, Officer Rafael Ramos will be sorely disappointed.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The train has been moving along nicely as of late, but usually comes to a screeching halt over the holidays. It's good, because it gives me a chance to do some reflection on where I'm at, what I'm doing (or not doing) right, and what's and who's important.
It started, actually, last weekend. I spent some time in Dorado, about 25 miles outside of San Juan, in Puerto Rico. Five days of sitting by the pool with one of my best friends was exactly what I needed. It was an insane few months between Labor Day and Thanksgiving at work, doing seminars in 19 different cities all over the US and Canada. I was not home for a full week until the week of Thanksgiving, and now we're in full on 2015 preparation mode. So those few days sitting by the pool and not answering emails (but checking them, of course, because nobody wants to come back from a few days away and wade through hundreds of emails) were just what the doctor ordered.
But what sucks about this time of the year is being alone. I think I blogged about that my first year out here in NYC, but my circumstance is a little different now and I'm in a MUCH better place. Of course, that doesn't mean that I didn't move the Kleenex box out to the living room on Christmas Eve and listen to Christmas music and cry a bit. Yeah, it sucks being along on the holidays, but that's what I chose. It would be nice, though, if some of the friends I have out here would invite me over. But I get it, Christmas is family time. And it's when I miss mine the most.
It's funny, Christmas. It makes me hearken back to a few years ago when I was working at St. Rita's and have such fond memories of all the people there. Getting ready for Christmas in the parish was such a fun time! The highlight every year was usually me arguing with Christina Quast over how the environment should be set up. And I'm happy to remember that I usually won those arguments! I do miss belonging to a faith community, mainly because I still consider myself a Roman Catholic who just can't live with some of the changes to the Mass (see my previous blog) and the continuing refusal of the hierarchy of the Church to take responsibility for some of the scandals and crimes made by priests and bishops.
Back to Christmas... I find it funny (the ironic kind of funny) that for one day a year everybody talks about peace, puts things aside for a day, and spends it with their family. These couple of days are usually filled with peace, joy, happiness, and laughs. And every religious tradition has something like Christmas, but I'll stick to Christmas because that's my religious tradition. We take the day or two off and relax. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But here in the United States in particular, we go back to being our regular selves the next day and look forward to the next Christmas and pretty much forget about the holiday we just celebrated.
And that's where we make our biggest mistake (and I'm just as guilty). We forget that Christmas is about the Incarnation of the Son of God. We forget that Christmas is designed to remind us that He needs to continually be born in us, every day, not just on Christmas. We forget His message of love of God and love of neighbor. We go back to the status quo, where everyone is in it for themselves and not even giving one damn about how we get to where we want to go during that journey, no matter how much it hurts others. We forget Christmas on December 26.
I'm going to try very hard not to do that.
It started, actually, last weekend. I spent some time in Dorado, about 25 miles outside of San Juan, in Puerto Rico. Five days of sitting by the pool with one of my best friends was exactly what I needed. It was an insane few months between Labor Day and Thanksgiving at work, doing seminars in 19 different cities all over the US and Canada. I was not home for a full week until the week of Thanksgiving, and now we're in full on 2015 preparation mode. So those few days sitting by the pool and not answering emails (but checking them, of course, because nobody wants to come back from a few days away and wade through hundreds of emails) were just what the doctor ordered.
But what sucks about this time of the year is being alone. I think I blogged about that my first year out here in NYC, but my circumstance is a little different now and I'm in a MUCH better place. Of course, that doesn't mean that I didn't move the Kleenex box out to the living room on Christmas Eve and listen to Christmas music and cry a bit. Yeah, it sucks being along on the holidays, but that's what I chose. It would be nice, though, if some of the friends I have out here would invite me over. But I get it, Christmas is family time. And it's when I miss mine the most.
It's funny, Christmas. It makes me hearken back to a few years ago when I was working at St. Rita's and have such fond memories of all the people there. Getting ready for Christmas in the parish was such a fun time! The highlight every year was usually me arguing with Christina Quast over how the environment should be set up. And I'm happy to remember that I usually won those arguments! I do miss belonging to a faith community, mainly because I still consider myself a Roman Catholic who just can't live with some of the changes to the Mass (see my previous blog) and the continuing refusal of the hierarchy of the Church to take responsibility for some of the scandals and crimes made by priests and bishops.
Back to Christmas... I find it funny (the ironic kind of funny) that for one day a year everybody talks about peace, puts things aside for a day, and spends it with their family. These couple of days are usually filled with peace, joy, happiness, and laughs. And every religious tradition has something like Christmas, but I'll stick to Christmas because that's my religious tradition. We take the day or two off and relax. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But here in the United States in particular, we go back to being our regular selves the next day and look forward to the next Christmas and pretty much forget about the holiday we just celebrated.
And that's where we make our biggest mistake (and I'm just as guilty). We forget that Christmas is about the Incarnation of the Son of God. We forget that Christmas is designed to remind us that He needs to continually be born in us, every day, not just on Christmas. We forget His message of love of God and love of neighbor. We go back to the status quo, where everyone is in it for themselves and not even giving one damn about how we get to where we want to go during that journey, no matter how much it hurts others. We forget Christmas on December 26.
I'm going to try very hard not to do that.
Friday, November 28, 2014
Thanksgiving 2015
Thanksgiving is usually a time for me to reflect on a lot of things, and this year is no exception.
Reflection #1 - I really don't blog enough. I find that blogging about important things is something I'm not really doing enough of right now. There's lots of things going on like "why don't we know what's going on in Africa?" or "just what the heck is happening in Ferguson?" or "why is Black Friday such a big deal when the deals are better on Christmas Eve?"
Reflection #2 - Happiness is something to strive daily for, and I don't do a good job of that. It's pretty easy to sit in the recliner and pet the cats and watch the gecko (don't ask) and watch TV and wonder why I'm not very happy. Because I'm not really trying to be happy all the time and I'm not looking for ways to be happy. Probably should do more of that. Thanksgiving this year is a great example. I tried to convince people that I was going to be perfectly happy sitting in the recliner with a TV dinner or two and watching football. Then my friend, Allie, texted me and we got together in the afternoon at a cool bar on the Lower East Side, drank cheap (but good) alcohols, ate some chicken wings, watched football, and had a blast. Sometimes happiness finds me when I'm not looking for it too hard.
Reflection #3 - I miss my children (and my grandchildren). I've got a little better at reaching back to them, but I can always do better. The thing I regret the most about relocating to NYC (there are few things, but looking at my weather app and seeing the weather in Minny, leaving THAT is something I don't regret one bit) is not being close to them. So I've got to do a better job at reaching out and getting back to visit.
Reflection #4 - I'm lucky to be involved in a platonic relationship with someone awfully cool. It's fun once in a while to cook with someone, to argue over what's for dinner, to have a few drinks with, to travel with. It helps that she's very active and encouraging me to be more active. It helps that she's Asian (Korean, actually), which exposes me to different ways of thinking and acting. She's given me a real good glimpse into 'managing circles' so they don't intersect. I don't like that. But I like having someone to hang out with on a pretty regular basis.
Reflection #5 - I'm sad I've lost my relationship with the Church. It wasn't really my choice, I had to stand by my word. And it's only one word (plus some behaviors I don't approve of) that caused this. The Church changed the word, "all" to the word, "many" in the words of institution of the Eucharist. That limits God's ability to welcome all and gives people the ability to decide on the many. And that's just not my image of God.
Refection #6 - I never thought I'd blog about this, but I'm really excited for the Gopher football team. It's been a fun season of trying to watch every game and I never expected them to be in a position to play in one game to get to the Big Ten championship game. And that's pretty darn exciting.
That's about it for today, need to get some cleaning done before the weekend. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and please, seek happiness.
Reflection #1 - I really don't blog enough. I find that blogging about important things is something I'm not really doing enough of right now. There's lots of things going on like "why don't we know what's going on in Africa?" or "just what the heck is happening in Ferguson?" or "why is Black Friday such a big deal when the deals are better on Christmas Eve?"
Reflection #2 - Happiness is something to strive daily for, and I don't do a good job of that. It's pretty easy to sit in the recliner and pet the cats and watch the gecko (don't ask) and watch TV and wonder why I'm not very happy. Because I'm not really trying to be happy all the time and I'm not looking for ways to be happy. Probably should do more of that. Thanksgiving this year is a great example. I tried to convince people that I was going to be perfectly happy sitting in the recliner with a TV dinner or two and watching football. Then my friend, Allie, texted me and we got together in the afternoon at a cool bar on the Lower East Side, drank cheap (but good) alcohols, ate some chicken wings, watched football, and had a blast. Sometimes happiness finds me when I'm not looking for it too hard.
Reflection #3 - I miss my children (and my grandchildren). I've got a little better at reaching back to them, but I can always do better. The thing I regret the most about relocating to NYC (there are few things, but looking at my weather app and seeing the weather in Minny, leaving THAT is something I don't regret one bit) is not being close to them. So I've got to do a better job at reaching out and getting back to visit.
Reflection #4 - I'm lucky to be involved in a platonic relationship with someone awfully cool. It's fun once in a while to cook with someone, to argue over what's for dinner, to have a few drinks with, to travel with. It helps that she's very active and encouraging me to be more active. It helps that she's Asian (Korean, actually), which exposes me to different ways of thinking and acting. She's given me a real good glimpse into 'managing circles' so they don't intersect. I don't like that. But I like having someone to hang out with on a pretty regular basis.
Reflection #5 - I'm sad I've lost my relationship with the Church. It wasn't really my choice, I had to stand by my word. And it's only one word (plus some behaviors I don't approve of) that caused this. The Church changed the word, "all" to the word, "many" in the words of institution of the Eucharist. That limits God's ability to welcome all and gives people the ability to decide on the many. And that's just not my image of God.
Refection #6 - I never thought I'd blog about this, but I'm really excited for the Gopher football team. It's been a fun season of trying to watch every game and I never expected them to be in a position to play in one game to get to the Big Ten championship game. And that's pretty darn exciting.
That's about it for today, need to get some cleaning done before the weekend. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and please, seek happiness.
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