Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday. I think it's meaning has evolved a little into preparing the turkey and eating wonderful foods and spending a day simply relaxing (for those not preparing the turkey and foods!) with family. And I think that's wonderful, and I really missed it this year.
My Thanksgiving was different. I spent it alone, by choice. I spent it taking some time to reflect on all of the things in my life I am thankful for right now. There was some pain and hurt inside me due to some of the decisions I've made over the past year in coming out here and, now, choosing to remain and learning that I am truly more alone than I thought I really was. And all that pain and hurt is exacerbated on holidays like Thanksgiving. But I thought about what I'm thankful for...
My family is the primary source of my thankfulness. It's taken me to move away from them and begin to grow up myself to realize how truly thankful I am for all of them and how much I love them. I'm thankful for my friends, those that are truly my friends, who help pick me up and support me as my life transitions. I'm grateful for finally realizing that the most important thing I have is myself and I'm thankful that I am finally coming to a point in my life where I can actually face myself, the good and the bad, very openly and honestly. And I'm thankful there are people who are helping me face that, and not thinking any less of me for doing so.
I went to see the balloons at the Museum of Natural History on Wednesday night. Apparently, this used to be a very cool, very Manhattan experience in the "old days" according to people that live here. It's become kind of a zoo, as does everything in this city, but it also was pretty wonderful. I brought my camera with me and took some pretty cool pictures! Because one of my favorite bars in the city (Bourbon Street) is close to there, that ended up being where I went and hung out for a while. Met and talked with some pretty decent people in town for the holidays who have moved away and were just happy to be back in the city. It was a good time.
Yesterday was my "day of reflection". it began by going to the Thanksgiving Parade. I thought I would be smart and go watch it at Columbus Circle and get there at 9am. Well, I wasn't the only person with that plan. I had a lousy view of the parade, so I saw a couple of balloons and took some pictures of them, then came home to watch it on TV. (N.B., if you are a tourist in this city, please don't stand in front of people trying to take pictures with your damn iPad. It's annoying and rude.)
You see the outcome of that day above, so it really was a pretty productive day after all! I ended up getting a TV dinner (ok, roast turkey with potatoes and stuffing) from Gristedes after the Lions/Packers game. Watched the Cowboys/Dolphins game and relaxed and reflected. As I said above, it was a painful, yet productive day.
Black Friday is here and I am preparing to venture out into the city with my little camera and see what's going on. I have a pretty open agenda today. I think I'm going to take the subway down to Penn Station, then start walking home. I'm not sure what I'm doing or where I'm going or where the wind wants to take me today, but right now it's 56 degrees here and should be in the mid-60s this afternoon with not a cloud in the sky. It would be pretty silly of me to spend this beautiful day inside!
To those who read my blog (and it doesn't appear there are many, which is fine), I wish you peace as I search for it in my mind and heart.
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